Tuesday 8 August 2023

ESCAPING THE SHACKLES OF RISING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Lois Grant

The haunting question lingers: Why is domestic violence surging in Jamaica? A sombre reality demands our attention, and I dare to offer my perspective.

The answer cuts through the veil of silence and emerges from the shadows of pretense. Many Jamaican women, ensnared in a web of deceit, appear as pretentious hypocrites, their judgment clouded by the veils of religion and societal expectations. 

Fearful of tarnishing the facade and more concerned about appearances than well-being, they remain shackled in abusive relationships. A man's worth, measured by possessions and social status, can blind them to the horrors they endure.

But one must ask: Why endure a nightmare where children are prey, and anguish is the relentless companion? Why withstand the torment of fists and words that bruise the soul? Why sacrifice dignity at the altar of tradition? It is inconceivable that these women beseech a church's permission to escape a prison of agony.

I stand haunted by the woman who took matters into her own hands, branding her soul with an act of fatal desperation. When asked, she admitted her torment. The man she invested in, both emotionally and materially, betrayed her trust in the cruelest ways. A lamentable pact with the devil, she exchanged her freedom for a false crown of social stature. A farce of accomplishment where self-worth crumbled in the face of vanity.

Reflecting on my own journey, I unearthed my strength at the tender age of 22. Defying norms, I mustered the courage to sever ties with a bleak marriage. I traded the illusion of comfort for the sanctity of my child's life. In humility, I sought my father's guidance, his words a  mixture of solace and admonition.

I vowed that no man could ever own me. I fortified my stance in a subsequent relationship, refusing to compromise my dignity. As my situation turned dire, a compassionate friend offered financial respite. While no free lunches exist, I valiantly repaid my debt, safeguarding my self-respect.

It takes Herculean strength to escape toxic bonds. When the sirens wail and the warning signs blaze, do not be deceived by hollow promises of transformation. Abusers, like ticking time bombs, hold no redemption. Mental maladies, unveiled by the late psychiatrist Freddie Hickling, stain their souls. To those deceived by the notion of protecting their offspring, heed this: children bear witness, learning the corrosive lessons that erode respect. In the end it’s the children who suffer the most..Tomorrow’s people where is your past? .

Education, the beacon of empowerment, unveils a path to emancipation. Women, grasp your education passport to prosperity and liberation.

To those trapped in a cycle of agony, I implore you: Run. Run for your life. The road to freedom is perilous, yet the alternative is an eternity confined to the shackles of abuse…and even death. 

Stand tall, for you are worthy of love, respect, and a life untethered from the chains of violence.

Tribute to Women - Ray Jackson's Painting





Written by Lois Grant.

Related reading:

Are men being abused?

Editor's Note:

Lois Grant has dedicated her entire career to the field of communication. She began at Jamaica Broadcasting Corporation as a news editor and later co-founded Innercity Promotions. In 1990, she launched her own production and communication company, Corporate Image Productions. Her notable achievement includes spearheading the Caribbean's acclaimed Tastee Talent contest. Grant's role as Director of Communications in the Office of the Prime Minister further solidified her impact. as a communicator. Her commitment to education is evident through scholarships initiated under Corporate Image, benefiting Jamaica's top performing artists,, media professionals, educators, and esteemed individuals across various fields. She is the production representative for the prominent US network, NBC Sports. 

7 comments:

  1. Education is the passport to a better lifestyle, (male or female) and independent of any spousal relationship. I encouraged my daughters to academically equip themselves so that they don't have to depend on any man for survival - whether he be dead or alive.
    Yes! Some churches sanction marriage in order to remain members, even when the parties are totally incompatible .

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  2. Awesome message and yes education is the key to better life .Tried of the abusive Relationship . People must talk up even in church don't try to look good in people's eyes wen your suffering.

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  3. Well written Lois Grant and thank you for facilitating Vernon Darby. Could you also delve into the very hidden issue male domestic abuse? That is where the man is the one suffering the abuse?

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  4. Well written . Thank you.

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  5. Honestly; it is great 👌 to know that we have some of most outstanding people of Jamaica, who have been through Hell and back again, all because the package look pretty on the outside, but inside was black as midnight. These are not the stories we would love to hear. However; they do exist and many more just like what Miss Grant has written for us, to understand the ugly truth that so many of us have face each day. If it had not been for the mercy of God 🙏. Where would we be? May God continue to bless and keep Miss L. Grant, as she continues to shine bright for her country.

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  6. Yes, excellent advice and pointers. Well done.

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