Sunday, 30 March 2025

Run Fas' Fram Fas' Food Place!



I have avoided eating fast food for a while now since I realized it was killing me quickly. I love my yams, bananas, chochos, and sweet potatoes, for example.

Today, due to laziness and wutless behaviour, I decided it was time for some fast food. Suddenly, there was a bright light in my head - PIZZA. 

When I arrived at the pizza place, a gentleman was conversing with the salesperson. The gentleman was not understanding the salesperson, and I could not understand her either. She was speaking in a new kind of patois. It sounded more like a code than a language. After some time, the confused gentleman seemed to have understood the new code.

The man finished his transaction, and then the salesperson looked at me as if to say, 'Yu no ready fi place yu order'. There was no greeting such as 'Good afternoon'. I ordered a small pizza. I then said to her, let me have all toppings except pork. She proceeded to tell me that she had bacon, jerk chicken, beef, and pineapple.

When I finished placing my order, she turned to me and said, "Yu numba".

"Number?" I enquired.

She replied with much gusto, "Yes yu telephone number".

I said to her, " I cannot give you my personal number." I did not ask for her number so I could not understand why she was asking me for my telephone number

She then casually said to me, "If yu no give mi yu number mi can' sell yu." She then made a right about-turn and went inside.

I went to another salesperson and queried why my personal telephone number was required when I made a cash transaction. There was a sign requiring me to show my ID when I make a purchase with a credit card, and yet that was not requested.

I was getting impatient now. I told the cashier that I needed to speak to the manager, so she went to get the manager. I turned to the other customers, looking for some support. One said to me, "That is their regulation, so I had to follow it. The other customers were now getting impatient, and they said to me, "If it is in the system, then you have to give your number". I could have given an incorrect number, but I remembered the Integrity Commission. Now, I was getting impatient myself. I did not go there to look a woman and therefore we needed to exchange numbers.

The manager came out, and I told her what had transpired. She apologized, and I got my pizza without giving them my telephone number. If the salesperson were a sweet lady, I would not have a problem exchanging numbers with her.

All is well that ends well. It was time to enjoy my pizza and chicken wings. I had told them not to put any sauce on the wings, and they looked surprised. Mi say the chicken wings tasted terrible. It reminded me of when I first took my metformin medication. The chicken wings had a burnt, metallic taste.

I vowed never to go back into one of those fast food places again. I will walk with my food or reach home fast and eat natural food from the earth. I am familiar with chicken with a hint of garlic and seasoned to the bone with eskellion, thyme, ginger, and scotch bonnet pepper. Oh yes, with juice, eena di chicken bone. Dem di chicken a di fast food place is pure dry bone chicken dem sell. Dem dey bone cannot suck and chew up like how mi do it a mi yaad.

Is dem dey food dem a serve di yout dem. No wonder dem so force ripe and end up with diabetes, high cholesterol, and hypertension before dem grow di fus yeye teet. Wooooeeee! Lord, have mercy on us all. 

Let me hurry up and finish this because my stomach is rumbling like there was an earthquake in it. I feel to head to somewhere fast - a place where I don't like to rest too long.

My friend, wen yu a spen yu money, mek sure dem treat yu like king or queen. A fi yu money a pay dem an a keep dem business going. Mi a go run fas' fram di fas' food place dem!

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10 comments:

  1. That’s one thing that is killing our local businesses, customer service , or the lack there of. This is also a common problem in the USA also, so it’s not just a Jamaican thing, and then we wonder why we don’t support our own.
    Like the Mothers commercial used to say “ Great food fast “. I used to find it funny, because it didn’t claim “Great fast food “, so you get what you pay for

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mi an you wi live , anywhere i spending my money I demand good service and respect, if I'm not getting I don't bother or ask for a refund. I practice to walk with my food juice and water still, that's why I don't buy fancy handbags lolz

    ReplyDelete
  3. Foundation fren say...same so! Me stop ear at dem place deh. Chi ken taste like cardboard. Customer service is poor. Funny thing, if you give the person a visa and they will gkafky work at KFC and smoke while asking ," with or without fries pkease"

    ReplyDelete
  4. Just don't make fast food a habit, or do one better, avoid it altogether if you can.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Closest I ever went to fast food was a patty and that was only when it was paTty or starve. They wont get my $$$$ worse how the profit going to support US economy

    ReplyDelete
  6. Same so. Walk with u shet pan

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mr. Derby , I believe what they used to cook those chicken wings are the Air fryer...they used them to cook every thing here in Canada..when eating those meat and bones there horrible tastes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whatever they use to cook di chicken, it taste bad. Is di sause dem use fi hide di bad taste.

      Delete

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