This is a story that some will say Vernon made up. Someone who wears a collar and calls the name of Jesus does not necessarily mean that the person is an angel. Many are close relatives of Satan. Some of these preachers sing like angels and preach like Paul, but they are nothing but a Barabbas.
This pastor was a big-bellied man with a fat face, a charming smile, and a tone of voice that would calm the baddest bull. He built what people would regard as a massive church in rural Jamaica. One of the first churches to have a modern electronic organ. It had three sets of keys. Two played with your hands, and the third with your feet.
I have always wondered why the pastor bought such a large electronic organ for a church in rural Jamaica, which reminded me of the pipe organs found in other large churches. It did not take me long to find out that he was in love with the organist. The story gets more interesting because rumour in the very small and quaint community had it that he was involved with some of the choir members. It got worse. His helper functioned as if she were the woman of the house.
The pastor had another live-in helper before the current one. That helper migrated, and she sent back a little boy who had a close resemblance to the pastor. Pastor loved to have little girls around him, and he adopted a young girl who was about 12 years old. He loved to adopt little girls, and many people were only happy to send their young, innocent girls to live with him.
This pastor was a talented man. He took charge of building the church. This was the first modern-looking church in that part of Jamaica. I remember him carrying his reel-to-reel tape recorder to record the choir while they were practising. Members were mesmerised by this little gadget.
I remember him having the JDF Band perform at the church and also having his service broadcast on RJR. Residents were impressed. He was treated like a king. Community members supplied his needs and maintained his yard and his farm. He was indeed a king. I remember him driving at about twelve miles per hour in the district and giving all whom he passed by on the roadside his royal wave. He brought technology, and he brought modern living to the community. Yes, he also brought Jesus Christ.
His twenty-year-old or older adopted daughter was now at a teachers' college, and he used to visit her very often. He always takes a little youngster with him, and people assumed that he was his adopted daughter's boyfriend.
Then came the bombshell. The pastor was getting married to his adopted daughter. At that point, the dollhouse started to fall apart. The organist, some members of the church, the live-in helper, and his other adopted girls left the manse.
The sad thing is that when he retired as a pastor, he started to build his dream house. The house had to be destroyed because he committed a breach. He died a poor, destitute pastor. I understand that about seven pastors presided at his funeral. I believe that they wanted to make sure that he went to heaven. From those early days, I learned that to run a church can be a profitable thing, and you can have several ladies at your disposal.
One thing is certain—even if he goes to hell, he had a heavenly life on earth. I should have been a pastor! Can I be born again? You think I made up this story? All of this happened a long time ago, and I am sure I missed some of the facts. If you are aware of this story, then fill in the missing parts as comments.
Editor's note:
All pictures are created.
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