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The comment of the Prime Minister in his budget speech, "Man is man and woman is woman," has sparked a debate across the island.
First, let me tell you some stories. This couple has been married for about twenty years, and the wife had a friend who visited the home frequently. The husband thought nothing of it. He noticed, however, that this friend was very attentive to his wife, especially when the wife was sick.
One day he went home and found his wife and her female friend having the time of their life in the bedroom. He was devastated.
In another case, I went to an office to deal with a utility problem. The female customer service agent was not very helpful, and she was very cold to me.
The security guard who was observing apparently did not appreciate the way I was treated, so he offered to assist me. I told him, "I thought the customer service lady would enjoy helping a man."
The security guard replied, "These ladies don’t relate to men very well."
I told him that we have to be careful about whom we choose as our spouse. I noticed the immediate change in his attitude and sensed that something was wrong. It is clear that he had more to say, but the office was not the appropriate place to do so. I asked for his telephone number, and I told him I would call him later.
I called him later in the afternoon, and of course, we started talking about women. I said to him, “Are you married?”
I felt the tension. I knew he had more to say, and he wanted to get it off his chest. After a short pause, he said, “Yes.”
We started talking about his wife and their relationship. He told me she had been spending more time with a female friend on the Avenue.
I said to him, "Do you think she is a lesbian?" I don’t remember him answering, but I know he was crying. They were just starting their life together and had made the first payment on their house.
I said to him, "Don't worry about that money. "Find a lawyer now and plan an exit strategy. " I lost contact with him, and I have always wondered how he got out of the dilemma.
These days, you will find many people are not interested in the opposite sex, but they value the image of being married. The spouse is probably there to provide economic security, so they hold on to that spouse for life.
It is very important to know and be sure of your spouse’s sexuality before you get involved. They will put on an act to catch you, and soon after, the abuse starts. You will find the friend starts to have more say than you. They become defensive of that friend, and after a short while, the fake emotions will fade.
Don’t wait until things deteriorate. Get out of the situation faster than how Usain Bolt gets out of the starting block. You might need to see a professional counsellor or a psychiatrist after. You can end up going through a period of depression and embarrassment, and this could be serious.
Hopefully, you come from a closely knit family that will see the challenge long before you do, and they will help you to navigate your way out of the mess. Remember that when you have these challenges, don’t carry the burden alone. This is the time when you need family support.
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