A MOTHER’S IMMEASURABLE PAIN.

Lois Grant

Eight years ago,   we gathered to celebrate my mother's 80th birthday on this very same sun-painted lawn.  Laughter, joy, and the aroma of sandwiches and cakes filled the air, amidst a vibrant gathering of family, church members, and friends.

Today, the date is etched in my heart like an indelible mark. I find myself on that same verandah. But this time, the atmosphere is different—an air heavy with unspoken grief, a sky that seems to understand the weight of a mother's sorrow. It's a condolence visit, a humble attempt to lift the spirits of a woman whose age and experience have gifted her with a unique kind of strength, a strength that now stands tested.

The woman before me, a family friend who at  95 years old, wears her pain with grace, a mask of resilience that barely conceals the tempest within. The recent loss of her daughter, a victim of a brutal murder-suicide, hangs over her like a shadow. There are no visible tears, no tremors in her voice, but beneath the surface, a storm of emotions rages, a torrent of grief and disbelief that threatens to engulf her.

The spirit of the Jamaican woman is one of fortitude, an unwavering determination to rise above adversity. In her eyes, I've witnessed that spirit in its purest form, a testament to the strength that courses through the veins of many Jamaican women. As we talk, the weight of her story fills the spaces between our words—the viral spread of her daughter's tragic tale on social media, the challenges she's navigated since that fateful day, and the agonizing wait for her granddaughter's arrival so that her daughter can finally rest in peace.

We share a poignant moment, a fragile laugh that punctuates the heavy air. "Who could have told me that my daughter would become so famous," she muses, her voice a mixture of irony and heartache. It's a sentiment that speaks volumes about the often overlooked roles of women, the quiet heroines who shape lives behind the scenes.

Navigating the delicate path of conversation, I remind her of the kindness she once showed me—a lesson in generosity learned from her. Excessive mangoes, baskets by the gate, a simple act of giving that she passed on to me. The memory draws a smile from her, a shared connection that bridges the gap between her world and mine.

We talk of her verdant garden, her sanctuary of vibrant plants that stand as a testament to her nurturing spirit. We speak of the changing cityscape, of towering apartments encroaching upon the tranquillity of the older community. She speaks of the persistent contractors who offer to buy her home, a beacon of history amidst the encroaching tide of modernity.

In a quiet moment, a question hangs in the air, unspoken. "Why?" she seems to ask, her eyes reflecting a lifetime of challenges, heartaches, and now this unbearable loss. "Why now, when my journey nears its end?" It's a question that echoes in my own heart, a universal plea to the cosmos for answers that seem to elude our understanding.

They say that God, or perhaps the universe, never burdens us with more than we can bear. But in the face of this mother's immeasurable pain, the query remains—why? Why must a mother, who has endured 95 years of life's trials, be subjected to this final, heart-wrenching chapter? As the wind whispers secrets only it knows, the question lingers, a plea for meaning, a plea for solace in a world that sometimes offers none.

Heather Moyston chatting with a senior citizen in happier days

Family members.

Editor's Note:

Heather Moyston lost her life tragically recently.

Lois Grant has dedicated her entire career to the field of communication. She began at Jamaica Broadcasting Corporation as a news editor and later co-founded Innercity Promotions. In 1990, she launched her own production and communication company, Corporate Image Productions. Her notable achievement includes spearheading the Caribbean's acclaimed Tastee Talent contest. Grant's role as Director of Communications in the Office of the Prime Minister further solidified her impact. as a communicator. Her commitment to education is evident through scholarships initiated under Corporate Image, benefiting Jamaica's top performing artists,, media professionals, educators, and esteemed individuals across various fields. She is the production representative for the prominent US network, NBC Sports. 

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