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| Aretha Taylor |
My name is Aretha Taylor. I’m originally from Jamaica, but I grew up in Brooklyn, New York, USA. I would like to address a serious problem in Jamaica with our men. That problem is the way women are mistreated and harassed in the streets. Growing up in New York, I’ve encountered various types of men, but none like Jamaican men. Sadly, the men here are overly aggressive, vulgar, disrespectful, and extremely sexual, from the least to the greatest. It is very discouraging leaving your home to even run errands, because every other man has something negative to say. I know that’s probably normal for you in this country, but it isn’t normal for me and for so many other women who are either visiting or returned residents. There are women I know of from the United States of America and the United Kingdom who refuses to visit Jamaica again because of their experience with the men here.
I’ve spoken with many local women in Jamaica who say sometimes they are embarrassed when walking on the streets because of the obscene thing’s men shout at them. They are too ashamed to say anything to these men. I recall one incident, when a man followed me for almost two blocks trying to pick me up, until I turned around and told him that He was harassing me and that he needed to 'back up'. My question to the men is…Does it make you feel like you are more of a man when you talk to women and young girls in that manner? Well, it doesn’t make you more of a man... It doesn’t make you a man at all.
A man is supposed to honour, respect, protect, and regard a woman. He’s supposed to lift her up and make her feel beautiful. But instead, you have degraded your women, disrespected your women, belittled your women, verbally abused your women, demeaned your women, and verbally and emotionally you have raped your women. This is what you do each time you speak to us in a vulgar and disrespectful way. There are some girls and women who like that kind of negative attention and go out of their way seeking it by dressing scandalously. It’s because they’re insecure and have a low self-esteem and they don’t know their worth. Listen my brothers, what you don’t realize is that when you speak to women and young girls the way you do in the streets, it shows you have no self-respect, no self-love, and you don’t know your own worth. You might feel that by disrespecting and shouting obscene things at a woman, that makes you feel like a man, but that should make you feel ashamed.
Being who I am, I’ve had to correct a few men on how they speak to me in the streets, but I do it in a way to show them where they’re wrong, and they get it. Unfortunately, I don’t think most men here in Jamaica are aware of how they approach a woman is wrong and how you make us feel. Most men weren’t taught the right way, and so it becomes a cycle. We can do better as a people. We MUST do better. Ladies, stop responding to vulgarity, obscenity, and disrespect. STOP thinking it’s a compliment and know it’s a put down. Know your worth my sisters. Men, STOP degrading and discarding us. We are Queens…So treat us as such!
By Aretha N. Taylor
Note:
Aretha Naomi Taylor is the Founder, Chair, CEO and President of New Beginnings Outreach Program for Women, Located in Brooklyn, New York since 2013. Aretha is also the Head Pastor and Founder of Kingdom Faith International Outreach Ministries and Missions Located in Florida and Jamaica.
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You speak the truth. I dont know what has gone wrong in our society with our men and women too..no one shows respect anymore..this is such a sad situation.
ReplyDeleteIt saddens me to see the lack of self respect and self love here.
DeleteWell I totally agree with you but I believe it's s class issue, growing up in Trinidad I was subjected to the really disrespectful men saying horrible things to me even as a 13 year old, but as I got older and started associating myself with other clases of Trinidadians, I realized it was the uneducated and the rum drinkers would speak to you like that! However it is shameful and sad that we women can't walk the streets without being harassed! be safe!
ReplyDeleteI used to believe it was a class issue as well, until I began speaking with students in middle and high school and learning about the sexual harassment they endure on a day to day by teachers…
DeleteTrue words.
ReplyDeleteWell I was born in the 40s and so grew up under British rule and during those days men were very respectful to everybody ..men, women, children. During those days parents trained their children in a number of ways including good manners. How to speak to others, they were taught courtesy etc., so if anyone behaved differently they would be looked upon as the odd person. However things took a turn for the worst when the British left after independence, and to make matters even worst this mass be migration to America after it was opened for people to go in and work. A whole lot of people from all over the world including Jamaica went some of whom left their children to be cared for by relatives, friends and some had to care for themselves. From this time onwards the breakdown started. That's the main reason why these men and even some women are who they are today.
ReplyDeleteBeing born in the 40s means that I grew up in the 50s,60s, in the 70s I was still a young person so I saw life in those days and even in the US 70s and 80s things were not as bad as now.
ReplyDeleteIt all goes back to proper values n attitude, we fed our youths on a steady diet of disrespect to women and our music isbpartly responsible, how many times in our music mwn call our ladies "Gyal" this may sounds simple now back then this was a no no,and this is just one example.
ReplyDeleteAs a musician and educator I can associate with all the replies, but the negative meaning of the word Gyal is so far away from the folk song "Dis long time Gyal"! We all have to act, and there has to be a subject included in high school, since family upbringing is so often non existent....should it be called parenting and social values??? Please Ms Taylor speak with our female Minister of Education, Ms Williams, to start a really proactive movement.
ReplyDeleteUntil women start respecting themselves and refuse to accept the abuse from the men, it will continue.
ReplyDeleteI endorse every word you said. You are so right. But there is a section of the society where our women has portrayed themselves in such sickening manner that you can hardly blame the men for taking advantage of these offerings. There are wonderful respectful men all over Jamaica who you will not see on the street corners at all. I also feel very much ashamed as a man becsuse of what is used to represent the rest of us. I will send a video to Mr Derby that will explain exactly where I'm coming from.
ReplyDeleteI must however, on behalf of all the wonderful gentlemen of this beautiful island, sincerely apologize to all the beautiful ladies who have had this awful experience. I hope you will not give up on jamaica but you will have some pleasantries on your next visit.
Until women start respecting themselves this will never stop,sad to say many love and crave the attention of these vultures why I don't know, perfect example of something that makes my stomach cringe everytime is these loader men grabbing and shubbing in a vehicle they don't want to go into, sometimes two three of them hauling and pulling one female and I always dear them to try it with me!! But these females laugh as if it funny and they like it, so the they gonna continue doing it, and don't get me started on the ones with their pants below their butt if no females will talk to them looking like that and let them know too that's the reason then bet they drop that style. Females have the power to evoke change in our males put most don't realize, just as how that one follow down the streets, females must stop supporting the males with their foolishness,in every good there's bad , so remember there are still good respectable men around still, you can't allow that to stop you from visiting if you really want to, because all over the world is problems.
ReplyDelete